Blog post 3 - Tina Garza

 

**Readers beware, this is going to be the real raw truth**

What I learned this week on my scuba trip and through Alex lectures and readings regarding ocean fish, that us humans are actually a lot like sea creatures. Sea Creatures come in beautiful sizes and colors and have defense mechanisms to protect themselves from the prey. I’m going to share some things about myself that other’s don’t know, when I walk with confidence, grace and repose and carry myself with heavy armor. That’s my defense mechanism, just like sea creatures.  What I experienced/encountered on my first ever scuba diving trip, besides getting my scuba certification that I worked “very hard” for because it did not come easy to me and I wouldn’t and didn’t give up. To my point, during the dive trying to go underwater my anxiety got the best of me and when the water started to flood into my googles, I went up to get the water out and gather myself and Alex made sure I was good enough to go down. When we went back down the mannerisms of the rude little ******* French scuba instructor was adjusting my mask and I wanted to go up and made the sign up because he was too much for me.  He ignored my request and we continued on.

During that time going through the blue ocean sea waters and just trying to get my bearings of my gear, he would vigorously put my hands down. I wanted nothing more, but to cry, more than half through our scuba there was only my feeling of sadness not enjoyment at all. There was only a moment, when the school of sardines went swimming around us and wrasse fish and beautiful other sea fish were all around. I felt myself trying to be in the moment and enough, what I so hard set out to do on this trip was to scuba dive in the French Rivera Mediterranean.  I only had a “very tiny” glimpse of gratitude at one point that he ignored my request to go up.

 

During that time my mask would flood and he would help me, but it was very vigorous and a rude manner. He made sure I was holding on to him the whole time, but it was in a very rude manner. Once we got up to the water, he aggressively took off my scuba mask and at the time I was confused, why did he do that. Once I walked up the boat steps, he quickly took off my BCD, which I appreciated because it was heavy. However, he then zipped me (ripped me out) out of my scuba very vigorously and rude.

 

When he did this, I felt traumatized, humiliated and felt like if he just ripped off my heavy suit of armor that I wear every day. The French ***** scuba instructor graciously helped Amanda and Alex out of their gear and offered them to swim in the water. As I sat watching watching, I felt like I was in a movie and not even there. Like I didn’t exist at all. One the ride back I sat there cried silently the best I could. I left the boat with grace and repose and did not say a word to him.

After I got home the crying continued all the way up until the next morning. The traumatizing experience and sadness I felt didn’t fully go away until later yesterday evening. I lied down and had to tell myself “Suck it up”, don’t let this little ***** French man take anymore of your time and energy. You need to put back on your armor and rise above this.  My first memorable scuba trip will be that of a little ****** French man was a shark and I came back as a Killer Whale. More powerful and stronger than ever. This is will not be my last scuba dive and I will continue to work on my weaknesses, but this experience made me stronger. Again humans are like sea creatures. We either can survive the stormy seas, the sharks, the fishing traps, and wounds from predators or die and wither away. Each fish is out for its own gain, if one fish dies the rest simply have to move on. It simply is, as Darwin put it; survival of the fittest.